Daily Mail

AND FINALLY

All problems are of equal importance

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CHALLENGIN­G responses are always good — and Mr C.I. was impatient with last week’s letters. To remind you, ‘Rachel’, 18, was an A-level student with four problems: her exams, her severely damaged arm, her boyfriend and her estranged father (not to mention the stepmother). The second letter was from 25-year-old ‘Abina’ — very guilty for hurting boyfriends…

I’m glad to have letters from younger readers on the page, but C.I. was scornful — as proved by his email subject: ‘Spoiled Teenagers.’ He chose to ignore all of poor Rachel’s problems except the very least of them, exam stress: ‘Poor little dears are under so much pressure.’

He judged Abina ‘ a very conceited person’. This critical email ended: ‘Can we please have letters dealing with the real problems of life and also more from men, from whom you never print much.’

Let’s deal with his second point first. It’s true I print more letters from women, but that’s since more write in. Over the past six weeks, out of 12 letters printed, just two were from men (a 70-year-old and a lad of 19). That’s probably been the average over the years, reflecting the proportion­s received.

Now I love answering male letters (maybe as I love men!), but every advice columnist would agree women are more likely to share their troubles. But listen you chaps — write!

As for ‘the real problems of life’… I’d like C.I. to understand

every problem is important to the one suffering, even if some are more serious than others.

You cannot compare the grief of a woman over her dead grandchild ( June 17) with Abina’s femme fatale tendencies — but if that young woman learns something from writing, and thinking about my reply, and it helps her become more stable in the future… well, that is worth achieving.

What’s more, we learn from each other — and it all matters. As the Russian poet Yevtushenk­o wrote: ‘No people are uninterest­ing/ Their fate is like the chronicle of planets.’

BEL answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationsh­ip problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Daily Mail, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. A pseudonym will be used if you wish. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspond­ence.

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