WAGs are not the problem

ENGLAND have never gone out of a major tournament because the wives and girlfriends were there. equally, they have never been eliminated because the wives and girlfriends stayed home.

The WAGS don’t matter. They’re a sideshow. Technique: that is what kills england teams. Passing. Keeping the ball. Thought. Game strategy. every tournament exit has been about the football, not companionship, or the absence of it. Similarly, england have never fallen short because of the hotel or its location, the quality of the computer games on offer, the relative splendour of the training ground or whether the lads get to play golf or go on safari. all the topics that obsess us increasingly as a tournament draws near are incidentals. There are two qualifying games to go and Gareth Southgate is already being asked if he has a wives and girlfriends policy for Russia — as if this will be a factor in england’s progress.

Really? What do family travel plans matter if his central midfield options include a player who cannot currently make West Brom’s team? If england embark on another doomed campaign in Russia, it will be because there is a dearth of talent in the heart of the pitch, not because the creche facilities are inadequate. Jake livermore, Jordan henderson, eric dier, these are hard-working, limited players, who would not get a kick for Germany or Spain. a team can tolerate one, as a defensive presence, but not two or three. We are left hoping some of Pep Guardiola’s stardust has been sprinkled on fabian delph, or that the Jack Wilshere story has an improbable happy ending.

In competition, england are undone by the basics, not by marginal gains. Team Sky have such attention to detail that they transport individual mattresses throughout the Tour de france, so every rider effectively sleeps in the same bed each night. Sounds brilliant, but what would it matter, if the cyclists kept falling off the bikes? That is england’s problem: we need to learn how to pedal first.