TISSUES

ready, because some of Shakespeare’s plays are reckoned to be too shocking for snowflake Oxbridge students. They need trigger warnings and safe spaces to deal with the killing fields of Macbeth and the more eye-popping scenes in King Lear. I mean that literally, kids. ‘Out vile jelly, where is thy lustre now?’ cries Cornwall, as he gouges out Gloucester’s eye in Act III. They won’t be able to cope! Wait until the shivering little darlings find out what happens to Bambi.