Westminster Noticeboard...

ENVIRONMENT Secretary Michael Gove insists that he accepts animals — including invertebrates — feel pain. Of course they do! Just look at those spineless and miserable Tory Remoaners on the backbenches.

The Shadow Chancellor’s economic illiteracy was exposed yet again this week when he was unable to tell an interviewer what Labour’s plans to borrow billions would cost us. has John McDonnell been taking lessons in sums from the Party’s other maths maestro, Diane Abbott, who famously had a meltdown on live radio when she got her figures hopelessly wrong?

LABOUR peer Baroness Hayter of Kentish Town warns us not to buy elderly people alcohol for Christmas because it’s bad for them, while Chief Medical Officer Dame Sally Davies says just one glass of wine a day can give you cancer. What a bundle of laughs the festive season must be with those two.