Pressures of modern life are overwhelming for men, says Zoe Ball
Strictly host speaks out after boyfriend’s suicide
MOdErN men often feel they ‘can’t win’ as they struggle to be ‘sensitive’ and ‘strong’ at the same time, Zoe Ball has said.
Opening up for the first time about the suicide of her boyfriend Billy Yates, the radio 2 presenter revealed he had found it difficult to find help other than ‘anti-depressants and a bit of counselling’.
Miss Ball, 47, lamented the services offered to men who reach out, saying mental health is ‘ taken for granted’ and not given enough attention.
‘The number of young men killing themselves is shocking,’ she said. ‘Why? A lot of men I have spoken to have said it’s very confusing being a modern man. You want to be sensitive but also strong. You can’t win. It’s really hard trying to be both.
‘This a disease and men suffering with depression need help. It takes the right person to break through to someone who has been brave enough to reach out.
‘We are so busy looking after our body – we drink less, we take vitamins, we exercise – but looking after the mind is taken for granted.’
Miss Ball, who also hosts the BBC Strictly spin-off It Takes Two, added: ‘From my experience with Billy, it was very difficult for him to find support. There is very little on offer other than anti- depressants and a bit of counselling.’
Of the 6,188 suicides in Britain in 2015, the latest year for which figures are available, 4,622 were men.
Mr Yates, a Tv cameraman, died alone at his London home in Putney last May aged 40, having death friends, for caused struggled a Miss the number Ball heartbreak his with of said: family years. depression ‘Especially discussing and his effect his male is dangerous. friends. The It ripple can happen again. It’s scary.’ Although Mr Yates discussed his depression during their relationship, Miss Ball often felt she ‘didn’t know how to help’ and she is still ‘not sure I did the right thing’.
Asked if she reproaches herself, she told radio Times: ‘I sometimes think, “I’m a resourceful woman, I’m a bright woman … why could I not save him?” And then I have to stop and say, “Everyone who loved him knew. None of us found an answer, none of us saved him.”
‘To move forward you have to accept that, which is very difficult. But I take comfort from the fact he is no longer in pain. He struggled every day and now he is at peace.’
In a BBC documentary tomorrow, she will say: ‘He couldn’t make sense of what was happening to him. It was almost like a change of light – you could see the pain come into his eyes.
‘You wanted to say, “Come on. Stay with me, stay with me. Let’s get you out of this headspace.” But it was harder and harder to do that.’
Miss Ball, who raised around £500,000 for Sport relief by cycling from Blackpool to Brighton last week, said she is still grieving but ‘getting stronger’, adding: ‘There are moments when you least expect it when grief catches you.
‘But the main thing for me is I’ve found people who have been through this and are doing better. They’ve found some hope.’