BUMBLE AT THE TEST
BLINK AND YOU’LL MISS IT!
ALL over in a flash! Kane Williamson was genuinely undecided what to do at the toss — it was 50-50 — but I think we can say he made the right call. Great response from his bowlers Trent Boult and Tim Southee and England can’t blame the pitch. There was nothing wrong with it.
PRESSED FOR TIME
WHAT this really did was bring England’s woeful preparation to light. All they’ve had is two knockabout two-day ‘matches’ with no meaningful cricket and that’s all they could cram in because there is so much on. We’ve just finished a Twenty20 tri-series and five ODIs. There is not enough time to fit it all in. THE most worrying thing for England was that they failed to combat the swing. What you’d normally do is step outside your crease, get forward and negate the movement. But so many batsmen hung back. It was fatal. All Craig Overton (right) did was get his foot out and suddenly the length changed.
NOT IN THE SWING OF THINGS
MORE TRAVEL SICKNESS
SINCE the start of 2012 England have played 40 Tests overseas and only won seven of them. They’ve lost 23! And even though they’re not playing Australia now, there are no signs of that record improving. Andrew Strauss and Co have to be careful. England are ranked fifth in the world at the moment with New Zealand above them at four. Must get better.
CALL ME CAPTAIN BIRDSEYE!
ON A lighter note, this is a smashing country. There is so much to do outside the cricket. I was taken fishing for snapper by sponsors Dilmah — out to Waiheke Island on a 60-foot boat. I got to drive it, too. Fabulous! I’ve got a little 26-foot cruiser at home that goes at five knots. This thing moves at 35 knots! We were going like the clappers.
NOT SO HAPPY CAMPERS
DON’T mention our camper van. I asked Sky’s powers-that-be for one to use and sleep in here and they gave me a flea pit. I’m still itching and scratching and have got through an ocean of calamine lotion. To top it all I had to share it with Nasser Hussain (left). I will never forget our night together in Mount Maunganui.
SHEILA, TAKE A BOW!
FIVE days in Queenstown, the home of extreme sports, and I thought I’d have a look at that bungee jumping. This lady turns up and says ‘I’ll have a go.’ She was from Sydney and was 73 — she got strapped in and jumped straight off! As she came back to a standing ovation she said to me ‘at least I didn’t p*** myself’. Spoken like a true Aussie.