HOW REBORN ENGLAND HAVE WON ME BACK

IT WAS during England’s 2-0 defeat by Croatia in Zagreb in 2006 that I realised the world was laughing at our national team.

It was against Croatia again, one year later in the pouring rain at Wembley, that my faith in England disappeared altogether.

I’d been at both games. But supporting the national team had become a farce. I haven’t been to a match since.

Now Wednesday’s World Cup semifinal offers a chance at redemption. I’m the estranged son being welcomed back by his family, suddenly remembering why home was so special after all.

After years of attending England matches, the two games against Croatia marked the moment we hit rock bottom.

Some may say that came in Rotterdam under Graham Taylor — but I was 17 during that 2-0 defeat by Holland in 1993 and still filled with boundless optimism.

I’ve written off six penalty shootout failures in major tournaments, the David Beckham and Wayne Rooney red cards, David Seaman’s flap at Ronaldinho’s cross, Maradona’s handball, Kevin Keegan’s missed header and the countless other injustices and injuries that had led to other England teams exiting tournaments as heroic failures.

Hope and enthusiasm had persisted. It was against Croatia where my national pride evaporated.

The game in Zagreb had been terrifying, but also a joke.

The Croatian fans were passionate and intimidating. The concrete Communistera stands swayed as the Croats stomped and chanted.

I seriously thought they’d collapse at any moment, instead it was lethargic England that crumbled.

The embarrassingly hilarious mis-kick by keeper Paul Robinson which resulted in a Gary Neville own goal confirmed it: we were a laughing stock.

Despite that, I continued to attend home internationals, though my enthusiasm was waning. Then came that shattering 3- 2 defeat at Wembley which meant England failed to qualify for Euro 2008.

Scott Carson made his competitive debut and his early error spread nerves through the side. England were toothless and brainless. Packed with some of the world’s top players, but not a team.

Meanwhile, Croatia, this nation of four million with a line- up that boasted a handful of Premier League players, showed technical ability, tactical nous and determination.

England seemed psychologically illequipped to win anything ever again. ‘A Wally with a Brolly’ the back page of Sportsmail called Steve McClaren the next day — a pitch-perfect headline that summed up the night.

Only, I was a wally too. We all were, for believing England would finally deliver on their potential.

Like the family of an addict who keeps saying they’ll quit, I’d listened, believed and hoped (oh, how I’d hoped) that they would finally come good.

So I refused to believe any more hype. I’d been let down too many times already, and become the bore who’d seen it all before.

There have been bright sparks since 2007. Indeed we thrashed Croatia in qualifying for the next World Cup. But the pathetic showings in the last two World Cups and European Championship were an inevitability that demonstrated how far we had fallen.

Now though, through brilliant tactics, honesty, passion and — shock horror — picking in-form players rather than a bunch of superstars, England have won me back. We are wallies no more. Dear England, I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. I’m coming home.