GEORGE MELLY’S TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS PARTY TRICK

I’VE always liked the grown-ups’ parties in Gloucester Crescent, whether I get invited to them, gatecrash or have to spy on them.

I can always spot Dad, being taller than most people. It’s no surprise to see him doing most of the talking while everyone else nods and laughs. Our neighbour George Melly’s favourite party trick is what he calls ‘Man, Woman and Bulldog’. He takes all his clothes off, stands in the middle of the room and tells everyone he’s a ‘Man’.

Melly (right) he pushes all his bits between his legs and, squeezing them together, shouts: ‘ Woman!’ Finally, he turns around, bends over and barks: ‘Bulldog!’