Renovating a crumbling castle on the cheap? It’s pure folly!

Regular viewers of Grand Designs (Ch4) will know that the programme normally features space-age new builds that resemble something out of the Teletubbies.

But in last night’s opening episode of the new series it was a pleasant surprise to see an old building take centre stage.

Mimi and Jimmy Fernandez had set their hearts on renovating the ruin of a 250-year-old castle folly in Buckinghamshire that they’d purchased for £100k.

Not only was the project ambitious, but since the folly was grade I listed it meant that every aspect of the build had to be approved by planners and conservation officers.

Just to stress what a nightmare that would be, presenter Kevin McCloud cracked a joke: ‘ How many conservation officers does it take to change a lightbulb?’ answer: ‘What do you mean change?’

When the couple said they had a £200k budget and were looking to complete the project in six months, wise old Kevin solemnly shook his head. ‘I’ll step back in admiration if that happens.’

To add to the problems the couple faced, the folly stood on a Saxon burial site, meaning that every bucket of earth dug up had to be sifted through by archaeologists in search of artefacts or bones.

Jimmy was a Spanish architect who oversaw the whole project and locked horns with British builders not used to be being micro-managed.

Just as Kevin predicted, the renovation took close to a year and went £100k over budget, leaving Mimi and Jimmy so broke they had to borrow from family.

The finished folly looked jawdropping even if it did only have two tiny bedrooms and so many stairs that just watching it made your knees creak. Cynical Kevin had to admit that although he expected a ‘poorly done pig’s ear’ it was ‘glorious’ — even if it did nearly bankrupt the Fernandezes and threaten their marriage.

even after 18 years grand Designs hasn’t lost any of its appeal. Seeing how the other half live and feeling exasperated at their first-world problems is one of the joys of the programme.

But what really makes it is the understated presenting of Kevin McCloud, who’s seen it all before and doesn’t try to hide his irritation at the participants’ unrealistic plans.

The home inhabited by Nicky and Steve in comedy Bad Move (ITV) was far from a grand design. The couple, who’d relocated from london to Yorkshire, were living in a remote farmhouse falling down about their ears.

Their search for someone to fix their roof was proving impossible until they happened upon a local builder who seemed too good to be true. Polite, punctual and reasonably priced, they thought John was a godsend.

The trouble was, he was so nice he downed tools when he saw a colony of protected moths in the loft and was appalled at Steve’s suggestion to just slyly spray them. ‘It’s not a family of snow leopards,’ he pleaded. John refused and notified the environment agency for good measure.

When they weren’t dealing with honest builders the couple had to contend with unfriendly locals. They included Shannon, the local shopkeeper, who automatically upped her prices for out of towners, blaming ‘Brexit’.

Written by and starring Jack Dee, the first series of Bad Move was a ratings winner even though the action was a little contrived.

This time the comedy is subtler yet brilliantly mocking of those smug londoners who dream of cashing in for a country idyll only to hate every minute of it. CHRISTOPHER STEVENS is away. LAST NIGHT’S TV Grand Designs HHHHI Bad Move HHHHI