Strictly speaking, I can’t wait for the Dance of Shame

Over the course of one drunken evening, this year’s Strictly Come Flirting morphed from a mere fiesta of dance steps and sequins into a drama that encapsulates all the beauty and squalor of the human condition.

There is not just passion and love, not just revenge and betrayal but also the timeless sexual power of a mini skirt and over-the-knee boots. Men are so predictable, aren’t they?

On Wednesday, fans enjoyed the delicious vision of penitents Seann Walsh and Katya Jones appearing on spin-off show It Takes Two (right) — summoned to apologise to the nation for their ‘mistake’. Sort of.

He was grudging and charmless, while she was a fallen angel in modest polka dots, her innocent, dewy look supplied by the Who Me? make-up range.

Perhaps we shouldn’t take sides, but I really don’t blame Katya. How many of us have had one Bacardi Breezer too many and snogged a bloke who thinks he is a comedian? Only about ten million at the last count.

You’ve got to admit, their victim faces were magnificent; a twin study of the pain of wronged condemnation. What was going on?

At times, it looked as if they were taking part in a police appeal for the safe return of their kidnapped puppy. Or had they just come to the tricky confessional part of couples counselling? At a parents’ meeting when they had just been informed it was their little darling who burned down the gym? Listening to the bank manager explain why he had just turned down their mortgage application? Or all of the above?

Come what may, I am glad they are to be allowed to perform their Dance of Shame tomorrow night. After all, this is a dance show, not a morality contest. However, it does seem an apt punishment for their mutual infidelity and the humiliation heaped on their respective partners. Can’t wait to see how the pair of them stagger through the mortification of it all.