999 calls take the biscuit

THE idea of someone calling 999 to complain about an out-of-date packet of biscuits or a mistake in a chip shop order may seem mildly amusing, but I’m afraid this is one area where my sense of humour utterly fails me.

Last year, the Met reported more than 22,000 such calls — that’s 22,000 times a life could have been in danger. And that doesn’t include calls to fire or ambulance.

I have a solution: most people use their mobile, so calls are traceable. Just send them a bill for wasting police time. Now that would be funny.