IN DE­NIAL OVER OUR BREAK-UP

Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland) - - DEAR COLEEN -

Dear Coleen

I’m strug­gling with a re­cent break-up. My boyfriend was a lovely guy, but there were a few is­sues like my in­se­cu­ri­ties that seemed to cause ar­gu­ments be­tween us. I partly agreed with him that maybe we shouldn’t be to­gether, but my heart is so bro­ken and I miss him so much I’ve cut my­self off from ev­ery­one. I just can’t fac­ing telling any­one that we’ve ac­tu­ally split up. I know liv­ing in de­nial isn’t go­ing to fix any­thing, but I just can’t speak the words out loud. I know we both still had a lot to learn about each other, and I don’t think we tried to un­der­stand each other’s vul­ner­a­bil­i­ties and in­se­cu­ri­ties, but I’d love us to still be a cou­ple. He cares too much about what other peo­ple think, whereas when it comes to our re­la­tion­ship, I think the only opin­ions that mat­ter are ours. I re­spect that he doesn’t want to see me any more, but how do I get over this pain?

Coleen says

With time. It’s a cliché I’m afraid, but it’s true. A bro­ken heart hurts like hell, but it’s a nor­mal part of heal­ing and mov­ing on. I think you should start voic­ing it be­cause that makes it real and liv­ing in de­nial won’t make you feel any bet­ter. Start telling peo­ple and let­ting the re­al­ity in – you are just putting off the in­evitable and the pain will last longer. As with any heartache, shar­ing it with a good friend or a rel­a­tive is a re­lief and will help you start to put things into per­spec­tive. Don’t cut your­self off from those who can help.

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