Daily Mirror (Northern Ireland)
Child-like trust is no defence in murder rap
SEAN Clemens is facing a murder charge in Liberty, Ohio, over the death of an 84-year-old woman after allegedly confessing to a colleague. But if he is guilty why would he spill his guts? Well, allegedly Sean wanted to share his burden but felt his confession would be safe because he had made his colleague “pinkie swear” not to tell. Surprisingly enough, this playground-style pledge was not a foolproof safeguard. And with his pal not fancying being an accessory after the fact, Sean found himself in the dock... AFTER being fatshamed by the Pope, Donald Trump has shed light on why he doesn’t work out. Despite scientists spending decades researching how to keep in shape, the President, much like he has with climate change experts, has told them they’ve all got it wrong. He argues: “The human body is like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depletes.” Experts say his argument is flawed because if it were true people would be at their strongest at birth. But at least Trump’s flawed science might explain why he still acts like a baby. TO highlight the ridiculousness of America’s gun laws, Tennessee representative Mike Stewart set up a stall selling lemonade, cookies and... an AK-47. He says he was showing how some states regulate drinks stands more stringently than gun sales. PEOPLE can’t stop talking about them, the FBI is investigating them, and now, you can wear them. Walking past one of the souvenir shops on Fifth Avenue this week, I spotted the latest must-have fashion for men – Trump’s Russian ties. A website is also selling the accessories, including The Flynn, The Spicer and The Manafort, all at $40. The company’s most expensive tie, however, is the Kushner. At $3,321 it’s described as “truly a beautiful Russian Tie. 100% polyester with a silky Kremlin finish.” Not seen many men Putin them around their necks... COURTING in America just went legal. A new dating app in the US has been designed to run criminal background checks on users before they start looking for Mr or Mrs Right. Anyone found with a conviction is then blocked from having a profile on the site, Gatsby. Girls who love a bad boy need not apply.
P.S.
IT’S clear to see where my local barman, Richard, gets his sense of humour from. His elderly mother dropped by this week and was saying how she disapproved of her grandson’s latest squeeze. “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always gives in easily,” she commented.