WORRIED BY PAL SCARED OF PARTNER

Dear Coleen

I recently got together with a friend who I haven’t seen for a while as we’ve both been very busy with our jobs. I was shocked by how much she had changed since I last saw her.

When we met up she seemed really withdrawn and easily upset, and then she confided in me that she was unhappy with her boyfriend and that she wanted to leave him, but that she was afraid.

My instincts kept telling me that there was a lot more to her story, but it was obvious that she wasn’t ready to tell me.

I’m stuck as to how to help her. Any advice would be appreciated.

Coleen says

It sounds as if she is reaching out for help, but perhaps is holding off telling you the full story as you haven’t seen each other in a while.

Now you’ve made contact again, I think the best thing to do is to see her as much as you can and rebuild your relationship, so she feels she can really trust you with the information.

Hopefully, she’ll start to open up more and you’ll have the opportunity to offer support. Let her know you’re there for her, even though you lost touch for a while, and that you’re willing to listen.

She might assume that because you haven’t seen each other lately, it would be inappropriate for her to confide in you – she might not want to bother you. Let her know your door is open.

You can get more advice and support by contacting The National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247), Refuge (refuge.org.uk) and Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk).