MY OLD CRUSH STANDS ME UP ON OUR DATES

Dear Coleen

I’ve known this guy since we were kids and I’ve always liked him, but didn’t think he liked me in a romantic way. Recently, though, I bumped into him in a bar and he confessed he’d had a crush on me for years, so I told him that I’d always liked him too.

We had a great night chatting and reminiscing and exchanged phone numbers, saying we’d get in touch and meet up for a date. We did text each other, but every time we arrange something he either cancels at the last minute or doesn’t turn up. It’s no fun being stood up when you’re sitting in a bar.

On his last text he apologised and said he won’t let me down again, but how can I believe him? Does he like me or is he just playing with my affections? Or does he have a girlfriend I don’t know about?

It’s so frustrating as I thought we had a real connection and I’d love to see where it goes. I really want to be in a relationship and I thought I had a shot with this guy.

Coleen says

Don’t let your desperation to find a partner mean you settle for a player, which is what this man sounds like to me.

Maybe it’s enough for his ego to know you really want him. And don’t you think if he liked you as much as he says he does, he’d have turned up on a date?

I don’t think he’s boyfriend material. He’s already let you down numerous times and you haven’t even been on a date yet!

And think long term – if you keep hanging on, hoping this guy will show up, you might miss the opportunity of meeting someone who’s really great and with whom you can have a proper relationship.

So my advice is, redirect your efforts – there are plenty more fish in the sea. Avoid the sharks.