HOMESICK AFTER MOVING ABROAD

Dear Coleen

I moved abroad a year ago to be with my husband of three years after being in a longdistance relationship with him.

My marriage is fine, but I feel as if I have made the wrong decision for myself in terms of moving abroad to be with him.

I am really struggling to find a suitable job that pays enough, and have not made many new friends. I was much more settled and happy at home in the UK, even though we weren’t together.

The problem now is that my in-laws expect me to stay here and adjust, so I feel like I am stuck out here for good.

How can I move back home without creating loads of problems?

Coleen says

Have you spoken to your husband about how you’re feeling? If not, you should.

If you love him and want to be with him, then you need to find a way of making it work, whether that’s staying put and making some changes or relocating with him. I do think it takes longer than a year to settle somewhere properly. I remember feeling very homesick when I moved from Blackpool to London and it took me a good two years to feel happy.

I think it’s important to shift your mindset and be open to a new life, and accept that it might take some time to feel part of the community and find a bunch of people you get on with.

Maybe your husband and his family can help if you let them know you’re struggling and feel homesick. You could also plan your visits home for the next year, so you have that to look forward to and don’t feel so cut off from your life there.

As far as a job goes, why not take anything until something better comes along? It’s a great way to meet people and you’ll still be earning some money.