Pregnant after sex with man older than my dad
Dear Coleen
I’m a 26-year-old woman and I’ve just discovered I’m pregnant. I’m definitely keeping the baby, but I’m in a dilemma about what to do about the father. He’s someone I had a holiday fling with in Paris last month.
At the time, I’d just broken up with my longterm partner and ended up spending the fortnight in a hotel room with the man I sat next to on the plane going to France.
It was incredible, but I had no intention of ever seeing him again after the trip.
However, when I let him know I was pregnant he said he wanted us to have a relationship and to be with the child 100%, and he admitted he’d fallen for me during the holiday.
My biggest issue is that he’s 52 years old. He’s older than both my parents and I’m younger than his son. How can we possibly have a relationship? I do like him and I think he would be a great dad, but there’s no way our families would accept it.
I’m yet to respond to his email where he admitted all this and I haven’t told anyone else about the baby yet.
Coleen says
Forget about other people for a minute. I think it’s obvious that you don’t want to have a relationship with this man. Yes, you enjoyed the romance and the sex, and it all sounds like something out of a movie. But you don’t want to settle down with him and, if you hadn’t got pregnant, you wouldn’t have any doubts about that at all.
However, if you’re intent on keeping the baby and he wants to be part of the child’s life, then you have to have some kind of relationship. And I hope, if he’s a decent man, then he won’t ignore the fact he has a responsibility to this child, even if you’re not romantically connected.
As you’re keeping the baby, then you have to tell your parents and he has to tell his son. And, as long as you’re honest with him right from the start that you’re not interested in a relationship beyond friendship, then I don’t see why you can’t come to some arrangement over bringing up your child.
I think this was very much a rebound fling, so don’t lead him on to think it’ll ever be anything more.