I JUST CAN’T PLEASE MY GIRLFRIEND

Dear Coleen

I’m 15 and have been with my girlfriend for quite a while now. We’ve had a few break-ups because someone on social media said I’d cheated on her, which I hadn’t.

After we sorted this out we got back together and we were happy, until I started smoking, which she didn’t like, so decided we should have a break for a week.

But I just have this gut feeling that I’ve done the wrong thing and I’m going to lose her. I also have other problems such as ADHD and social anxiety, which doesn’t help.

She says I don’t listen to her but I do try my best. Please don’t tell me I’m too young to understand. I just want to know how can I sort out this relationship.

Coleen says The smoking bit I get – it’s not bad advice to stop that. There’s nothing positive about smoking but, speaking from personal experience, I know how hard it can be to give up. However, if you’ve only just started, then do it now – it’s a lot easier than if you try to quit 20 years from now. And look at other ways of relieving stress if that’s why you’re doing it.

You’re not too young to have a girlfriend if that’s what you want and everything you’re feeling is real, but I think you’re too young to be caught up in something so serious. It sounds quite intense and, at your age, it should be so much more fun – not full of ultimatums, insecurities and threats that if you don’t toe the line, then she’ll leave you.

That’s not a grown-up relationship. You shouldn’t be constantly worrying about what you need to do to keep her – you yourself should be enough.