He left me over nothing and now I’m pregnant
Dear Coleen
My ex broke up with me out of the blue after seven months. We had been in a very good place, or so I thought, planning to move in together and booking holidays. I thought our relationship was blossoming!
At the point of the split I was due to have an operation, which was causing me anxiety and he was under pressure at work, finishing a contract. But the break-up was triggered by such a minor tiff and it was the only row we’d ever had.
The next morning he woke up and said he needed time to think. Four days later he ended things after I told him I loved him for the first time.
On the morning of my operation he contacted me via a message to wish me luck and visited me at home a week later. But he never really gave an explanation for leaving me, only that the 45-minute distance between us was too much, which didn’t make sense as we had been talking about living together.
Because I felt lonely, I signed up to a few dating sites and I came across my ex on there, and it hurt seeing that he was ready to move on.
A few weeks later, we got in touch again and he told me he still fancied me and we ended up sleeping together. But the following morning he made it clear he didn’t want to be with me, although he “wouldn’t rule it out in the future”. It’s been a couple of weeks now without contact and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. This is not how I saw my life! I am 29 and he is 30.
I wanted to be in love with someone and be in a stable relationship when bringing a child into the world. I am petrified of doing it alone. I haven’t told him and assume he will be furious.
Coleen says
It makes me furious when I hear that a guy is angry when he finds out the woman he’s been sleeping with is pregnant. Um, you don’t get pregnant on your own and contraception is an equal responsibility.
It’s clear to me that he is not ready to commit and if you are going to tell him because you intend to keep the baby, then don’t do it with any expectations.
Definitely don’t do it because you hope he’s going to come running back into your arms and propose.
Think about your options and what’s right for you at this point in your life – are you ready to be a single mum?
Talk it over with people close to you and your doctor, but make the right decision for you, whatever that may be, so you don’t have regrets.
Ultimately, the decision is yours and it may be one that not everyone will agree with, but it’s your life.
But pregnant or not, I don’t think you can rely on your ex.