AFTER 10YRS OF DATES I’VE MET THE ONE

Dear Coleen

I’m a 27-year-old man and I’ve spent the past 10 years playing the field. I’ve had hundreds of casual relationships and one-night stands, as well as a couple of disastrous long-term relationships.

A couple of months ago I started seeing a girl who’s turned my world upside down. She’s gorgeous, intelligent, funny, classy and the nicest person I’ve ever met.

We’ve been seeing each other casually, which she says is all she wants, but I’m looking for more than that. She’s only 20, so she says she doesn’t want anything serious while she’s still got so much living to do. The thing is, I’ve fallen in love with her.

What do you suggest? Can we make this work?

Coleen says

Ah, it’s hard when you’ve fallen in love and the other person’s feelings don’t match yours.

She is young, but she’s been mature enough to level with you from the start and admit she’s not looking for a serious relationship.

I admire her for being honest and it shows she’s a decent person – she could have strung you along, but she didn’t.

I think it’s really down to what you feel you can cope with – are you OK with a non-exclusive arrangement? How would you feel if you saw her with another guy or after a few months of casual dating she dropped the bombshell that she’d met someone special, so things with you are over?

It’s tough, but if I were you, I’d tell her how you feel about her, but that you’re at the point in your life where you’re looking for something more than a friends with benefits situation – you want commitment and loyalty, and something more grown-up.

But leave the door open and, you never know, after a few weeks or months on the dating scene, she might be calling you for a date.