DO I LET HER BOYFRIEND SLEEP OVER?

Dear Coleen

My daughter is 18 and a pretty sensible girl. She has a lovely boyfriend and they’ve been seeing each other for 18 months.

But she’s asked if he can sleep over in her room, and I’m just not comfortable about it and neither is my husband. I know some people would argue it’s better under your roof – you know where she is and so on. Am I old fashioned for just not feeling right about it?

I obviously know they must sleep together, but I don’t necessarily want them doing it right next door to us!

Coleen says

If you don’t feel right about it, you don’t feel right about it. I think what you have to keep in mind is they’re 18 and have been together a while – he’s not some random guy or even someone she’s been seeing for a few weeks or months.

I also think it’s lovely she’s asked your opinion and permission. It’s hard to see our babies grow up, so perhaps ask yourself if that’s what’s really bothering you – you’re not ready to see her in this next stage of growing up.

Would you want them to rush into marriage just because they can’t sleep together at home? At what age will it be right?

As a mum of sons in their 20s, it’s never really bothered me. I wouldn’t let my sons bring home a different girl every night, but if they’re in a committed relationship, then I’m OK with it.

Just be honest with your daughter and explain you feel uncomfortable about it at the moment, and you might get used to the idea down the line.

You could also suggest he sleeps in the spare room and you’ll see how it goes. As you say, she’s a sensible girl and I’m pretty sure they would respect your home and your rules.

Honestly, I don’t think they’d want you and your husband to hear them getting up to anything.