I don’t ‘love to party’ at 52. I want a meal and conversation

Name: Jonathan Cass Details: 52 Live: Great Dunmow, Essex Occupation: Fitness instructor and actor Jonathan’s dating ad says: Well-groomed man who likes lunch for two with a bottle of wine and a romantic countryside walk. Will not entertain bunny boilers. It’s a tough gig out there. You get to this age in life and people have a LOT of baggage.

I’ve been on several dates since my 12-year relationship broke down three years ago where the woman has done nothing but talk about her ex. She’s clearly not over him.

So many have been really badly hurt too so automatically think you’re going to do the same. They can be very negative towards you, even though you’ve done nothing wrong.

And there have been times I’ve started dating someone and suddenly the 6ft 3in body builder of an ex comes back on the scene. Maybe women rush into dating again sooner than men? I don’t know.

So many women’s online profiles mainly list what they don’t want in a man. Sometimes I feel I’m beaten before I’ve even started. And I think they think all men want a certain ‘type’. They say they’re the ‘life and soul’ and ‘love to party’. But I’m 52. I might have liked that in my twenties. Now I just want to go for a lovely meal and have a glass of wine with some good conversation.

And, oh, the profile pictures... I update mine regularly and what you see is what you get. Many women use filters and airbrushing which is such a shame. You get found out in the end!

I was talking to a woman online a while ago. She looked lovely – beautiful skin. She said she enjoyed horse riding so, me being into fitness, I thought she must be fairly sporty too.

I don’t know why – call it intuition – but when we spoke on the phone before the date I said, “If either of us don’t like the other we have 30 seconds to leave or we stay for the whole date”.

I lasted seconds. She looked old, clearly smoked, was bigger than her picture and – unlike me who was suited and booted – hadn’t made any effort to look nice. I just said “I’m sorry I have to go”. When she asked why I just said I felt like I’d been duped. It was false advertising.

And I’ve met angry women, too. One lady I dated for six months hacked my email and Facebook accounts. She’d posted several times tagging various friends saying “X this is what I think about you” and then an awful accusation that sounded like it came from me. It was awful.

Sometimes friends try to set me up – I’m considering asking out a lady I was recently introduced to at a wedding. And I’m going to try speed dating at the local golf club next.

I would like to meet someone now and have a relationship. Dating is interesting but being with someone is my ultimate goal.

So many women have been badly hurt and so automatically think you’ll do the same