Daily Mirror

He insists on spending Christmas with his ex

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Dear Coleen

I’m at loggerhead­s with my husband because he wants us to spend Christmas with his ex-wife and their children.

We’ve been together for five years, yet every year he’s spent Christmas Day with her, while I go to see my parents. Even they have commented on how odd it is now we’re married. I’m also expecting his child, which is due in April.

Surely enough time has passed for him to feel OK about us being together at Christmas? And his kids are older, so I’m sure they wouldn’t mind either.

I’ve tried suggesting that he sees them on Boxing Day or his children come to us but he says it’s a small price to pay when we’re together for the rest of the year. I don’t agree.

His ex-wife is quite spoilt and demanding, and so is he. He’s 10 years older than me, but acts like a child.

What will he do next year when our baby is here? It makes my blood boil, but he has this way of making me feel guilty for objecting to it.

Coleen says

I agree, there’s no reason now his kids are grown up why he can’t arrange to see them on Boxing Day or another day over the holidays, so he can spend the day itself with you. Or why can’t his kids pop round for an hour or so on Christmas morning to exchange gifts? He doesn’t need to see his ex at all.

It might be just one day out of the year for him, but it’s an important day. It sounds like he’s still carrying a lot of guilt for leaving his family but, the fact is, he chose to be with you and you’re his family now. Unless he starts considerin­g what you want too, your relationsh­ip is on very rocky ground.

Get tough – stop giving in and going to your parents. If he wants to visit his ex and their kids on Christmas Day, then insist it’s for an hour or two and he spends the rest of the day with you.

I think you also need to have a bigger conversati­on with him about how invested he is in your relationsh­ip. Why is he so afraid of standing up to his ex, yet he thinks it’s perfectly OK to upset you?

 ??  ?? We’re married and expecting a child together
We’re married and expecting a child together

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