I’M SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH MY PAL’S SIS

Dear Coleen

For several months I’ve been sleeping with my best friend’s younger sister. I’m 27 and she’s 20.

My friend is very protective over her and gets irate when men make comments about her. He doesn’t know I’ve been seeing her and I’m worried about what it would do to our friendship if he did find out.

We’ve been meeting up secretly, but I’m starting to fall for her.

I want to be in a relationship, but she’s insisting she can’t because of her brother.

How do you think I should bring it up with my friend? If he knew I was serious about her I think he would understand, but she’s not so sure. Any ideas?

Coleen says

First of all, at the risk of sounding cynical, make sure she is interested in a relationship, too, and is not just using her brother as an excuse to keep things casual.

If she is as keen as you are, then I really wouldn’t let her brother stand in the way. She’s 20, not 16, and he’s not her dad. Even her father wouldn’t have a right to exert this much control over who she dates.

So, she needs to stand up to her brother generally, otherwise she might find in the future that she’s worried about dating anyone. He sounds a bit controlling.

I’d suggest you talk to him if she can’t face it – maybe it’s more to do with the fact she feels awkward because you’re his best mate – or you could speak to him together.

But the bottom line is, it’s nothing to do with him. He might get wound up and you might even lose him as a friend if he can’t cope with it, but I’d hope not.