SCHOOL BULLYING STILL HAUNTS MY LIFE

Dear Coleen

I don’t know what to do about my life. I’m a guy of 26 and I’m so unhappy I just want to start my life completely over again.

The main problem is that I was bullied at school for being gay and would do anything for attention. I left with no qualifications and ended up in a dead-end job. I still live with my parents and have no way of moving out.

I’m so embarrassed about the way things have turned out for me, while the main guy who bullied me is really successful. Is that fair? I’ve also never been in a relationship, as I hate being gay. I just wish I was someone else. Any advice on how to change my life around?

Coleen says

Yes, you can start by accepting and loving the person you are. It’s pointless wishing you were someone else .

Perhaps part of the reason you’ve never had a fulfilling romantic relationship is that you’re denying the person you are.

If you wake up every day, believing your life is awful and projecting such a negative face to the world, then it’s unlikely you’ll attract the kind of relationship you want.

I totally understand why you have complex feelings towards your sexuality after the bullying, but you’re an adult now and anyone who doesn’t accept you is not worth having in your life.

Don’t be ruled and defined by what happened to you back then – letting it go and moving on with your life is the best way to beat this bully.

Use that anger to spur you on. And if you need some emotional support, consider counselling.

You’re a young guy with your whole life ahead of you. You have the power to change things, to go back to college or retrain. But start by telling yourself you’re a good person who deserves all the good things the world has to offer. Good luck.