POLLYOMETER

Going down... Toetally extoesed This is where we are in life – a stunning 22-year-old supermodel Instagrams some photos in which she is completely naked... and the reaction is “Your foot looks scary”, “What’s up with her toes?”, “Them toes are longer than Monday” and “Erm, why are her toes so pointy?” Poor Kendall Jenner (aka #Weirdtoes).

Up the avocado aisle The latest way to propose is – but, of course – to take your lead from every other trend in the world at the moment, and involve an avocado. Vile on so many levels – not least because if it takes you a while to pluck up your courage, it will go brown and start to stink.