Fiancee has turned nasty over wedding day plans
Dear Coleen
I’ve recently got engaged to my girlfriend of five years. She’s wonderful and I’ve always loved her, but since starting the wedding preparations she’s become a nightmare.
I’m not talking about her being a stress head – I’ve got two married sisters so was expecting that. I’ve actually noticed a nasty side to her.
First of all, she said I couldn’t have my best friend since nursery as my best man as he’s overweight and she claims he’ll ruin the photos.
Secondly, she said that my stepdad, who raised me from the age of six, can’t be at the top table because it’s tradition for the father to be there, even though I only got back in touch with my real dad a couple of years ago.
I’m really hurt by this and don’t know how I’m supposed to tell the man who brought me up that he won’t be at the top table, or my lifelong friend he won’t be best man (I should point out I was best man at his wedding). I’m not sure what I can say to reason with her – what do you think?
Coleen says
Um, don’t even think about telling the man who raised you that he can’t sit at the table with you at your wedding. It’s your girlfriend you need to talk to!
Look, this is your wedding as well – it’s not all about her. And so what about tradition? These days most families are blended. So, put your foot down and tell her you’re choosing your best friend as best man and your stepdad will be sat at the top table.
If she throws a tantrum and says she not marrying you, well, your answer should be, “I’m not sure I want to marry the kind of person you’ve turned into”. What you don’t want to be thinking on what’s meant to be the best day of your life is, “Do I really want to be marrying this woman if the only reason she’s doing it is for show?”
Tell her she can have the day how she wants it, decor, flowers and so on, but when it comes to your best man and stepdad, it’s non-negotiable. And tell her that if it it’s a dealbreaker for her, she shouldn’t be getting married.