HE WANTS SEX EVERY SINGLE NIGHT

Dear Coleen

Lately, my partner and I end up arguing about sex every night – if I don’t want to have it he makes me feel bad.

I have been crying myself to sleep, but I don’t want to leave him because I love him.

I’ve tried talking to him about how he’s making me feel, but he just says that I must be cheating on him or I don’t think he’s a proper man if I don’t want to have sex with him every night. I have a stressful job and work full time, so sometimes I just don’t feel like it.

What can I do to prove to him I love him? We are engaged and this is still not enough for him. He has been cheated on in the past, but I don’t think he’s over it and assumes I’ll do the same as his ex.

What do you advise?

Coleen says

This is his problem. It seems he’s still living with massive insecurities and it’s easier to blame you than look within himself and revisit all that heartache from his past.

But it’s something that only he can deal with – there’s only so much reassurance you can give him.

Look, it’s pretty common not to feel like sex every night of the week! He shouldn’t be putting that pressure on you – it’s unreasonable.

I know you’re engaged, but until this is sorted and you feel happy, I wouldn’t even think about getting married and I think you need to tell him that.

You need to tell him that if he carries on the way he is, he’s going to destroy the relationship you have because you are simply feeling under too much pressure.

I’d even suggest moving out for a period of time to give you both some space to think about it, so you’re away from the anxiety you associate with sleeping together.