DEAR COLEEN

Dear Coleen

My boyfriend of 18 months left me two weeks ago. I was at rock bottom and he said he can’t be the person to support me. He originally claimed he needed to sort his head out, but now it seems he has and it’s over.

He wasn’t as supportive as I needed him to be over the past few months so, for him to leave, sent me as low as a person can get. He still didn’t come to help me and sent my friend instead.

This week I spoke to him after finding out he had blocked my number – he said he did this because we had agreed to converse over email. I told him I didn’t like how he was treating me and he hung up.

He then emailed me to say that I should go my way and he should go his and that I don’t realise how much he cares about me.

I’m absolutely devastated. We had been trying for a baby up until the last couple of months we were together and were so in love and in sync.

I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Coleen says

He’s obviously had a big change of heart, but instead of admitting this to you and telling you why, he’s taken the coward’s way out and decided to block your calls.

It’s really hard when you can’t make sense of why something has happened – we all want reasons. But, here’s the thing, even if he does go into an in-depth explanation, it’s not going to change the outcome.

He’s moved on and, as hard as it is to pick yourself up, you have to stop looking to him to make you feel better and focus on what you can do for yourself.

You were feeling low before the break-up, so it would help to look at the possible reasons for this.

Counselling could help you to unravel why you were at rock bottom as well as helping you to deal with the emotional fall-out from this separation.

To find a therapist, visit the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (bacp.co.uk).

There’s no quick fix to feeling better when you’ve had your heart broken like this, but at least you didn’t have a baby with this man who’s revealed himself to be unreliable, uncommunicative and who bolts for the door when the going gets tough.

We were trying for a baby until quite recently