BOYFRIEND HAS A LOW SEX DRIVE

Dear Coleen

I’m 25 and my boyfriend of three years is 27. We have a lovely relationship.

He really makes me laugh, we have lots of friends and a nice life together. The only thing I’m struggling with is the fact his sex drive is practically non-existent. I’ve tried to speak to him about it, but he just shrugs it off and tells me he loves me.

He says it’s just how he is and it’s not me. But my selfesteem is at rock bottom at the moment because all my friends talk about how much sex their boyfriends want.

I don’t think he’s gay and I don’t think he’s cheating because he’s had several girlfriends and he seems to really care about me.

Coleen says

I think firstly, you need to stop beating yourself up over this. I really believe him when he says this is about him and not you. He clearly loves you and wants to be with you, and you say yourself that you have a nice relationship otherwise.

He’s admitted it’s just how he is and that his low sex drive is not down to you. So what you have to figure out is, can you be with somebody who doesn’t place a lot of emphasis on sex?

Some women would be happy with that, but others may not be. There’s no right or wrong with this situation.

Are you sexually frustrated or tempted by other guys because of this?

But one thing I will say is just because some of your friends say they’re at it like rabbits, it doesn’t mean their relationship is stronger. So instead, ask yourself, can you be in a low-sex relationship?