MUM-IN-LAW IS VERY RUDE TO MY FAMILY

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married to my husband for 13 years and he’s lovely, except for his awful mother. She often says really rude and offensive things about me and my family, and she’ll often put my husband down. If we ever say anything she blows up and then refuses to speak to us for weeks or months.

Recently she said something about my mum to another family member that I just couldn’t ignore. I told my husband and he phoned her up and said she needed to apologise to me, but she’s refusing to and said that I’m far too sensitive.

I’m so cross I just can’t bring myself to speak to her, but our three young children, who are five, eight and 10, absolutely love their grandma. So what can I do?

I can’t bear my mother-in-law, but I don’t want to deprive my children of their gran.

Coleen says

Let your husband take the kids to see her and then stay away from her for a while. Also, I think despite everything, it’s really nice to hear a daughter-in-law saying that she wants to protect her kid’s relationship with their gran.

But look, you don’t have to always be there when they see each other. You can drop them off with her, or invite her round when your husband is home, and then keep your distance.

You don’t have to be in each other’s pockets the whole time. That way, she’ll know she’s upset you, you’ll feel like you’re making your point, and your children will be none the wiser. And hopefully things will become more tolerable.

And, hopefully, your motherin-law will realise that she can’t say nasty things about your family.