IS OUR HUGE AGE GAP TOO MUCH?

Dear Coleen

I’m 23 and I’ve been going out with a gorgeous guy at work for the last six months. The only problem is he’s 43. He’s divorced with two daughters, and he has a good relationship with them and his ex.

We get on really well and I’ve met his parents and his friends, and he’s met my family and friends.

We’re falling in love with each other and making plans for the future, including buying a flat together some time next year.

The only issue is that some of my friends think the age gap is too big and that our relationship has no future. I’m not even sure if I want kids, or whether he’d want any more, but right now we get along so well and just really enjoy each other’s company.

What do you think I should do? Does this relationship have a future?

Coleen says

You know what, it is a big age gap and I’m trying to imagine how I’d feel if my daughter turned 23 and came home with a 43-year-old boyfriend who was closer to my age than hers. But if I could see she was happy and he was a really decent guy, then I think I’d just be happy for her. Nobody can predict the future or how things may go – and that’s true for relationships with similarly aged people too.

You could go out with a 23-year-old and that may have no future. You may end up spending the rest of your life blissfully happy with this guy – or you may not.

All you do know is that it’s your life and your decision, and if you’re happy with him, then right now that’s all you need to worry about. So just let life take its course.

The only thing I would chat to him about – maybe not right now but at some point – is the children issue.

If he doesn’t want any more kids, that may be a problem for you as you approach 30 and decide that you do. But anyway that’s a long way off, so just try to enjoy the here and now.