Not just me who is apple pie-eyed

I picked an apple off the ground the other day and out staggered a wasp, which stung me. I deliberately say staggered because it was drunk on the unfermented cider inside the fruit.

Someone explained to me it’s what happens every autumn when their life’s work is done and they feel there’s nothing left for them to do other than lay around drinking and being narky with anyone who tries to stop them.

Hearing that made me feel better. I realised it wasn’t just humans like me.

Maybe we should tell wasps to have two apple-sucking free days every week?

Harrod’s Christmas grotto 6

will be an invite-only affair to affluent kids whose parents have spent more than £2,000 at the store in the past year. Outraged critics say this is a disgusting form of social exclusion which sends out the message that the only kids who get the prizes in life are the ones whose parents have paid for it. I’d say Harrods is simply living up to its tradition of being a great British institution. By confirming how Britain has worked for centuries.