PHOTOS OF HER EX DRIVE ME MAD

Dear Coleen

I’ve been seeing someone for nearly five months and things are pretty good. We have loads in common and get on well with each other’s friends and families.

I think the relationship could really go somewhere, but the one thing that bothers me is her relationship with her ex, who has also moved on with someone else.

He was her first love and they knew each other from school, and she still chats to him and has photos of him around her flat.

I’m not usually the type of person to be insecure or jealous, but the fact I have to see his face staring back at me every time when I’m over at hers is really getting to me.

When I talked to her about it, she got really defensive and accused me of being petty and unreasonable. Am I? I’d love your opinion on things.

Coleen says

Well, you’re not alone – I get a lot of letters from readers upset by their partner’s ongoing friendship with an ex. I’ve said it many times, but I’ll say it again, if a friendship with an ex is upsetting your current partner, then I think you need to be sensitive to that and talk about where the boundaries lie. What are you each willing to accept?

I think if you’re trying to make a go of a new relationship, then having loads of photos of your ex about the place is insensitive, even if you know you don’t have feelings for that person any more.

Why not ask her how she would feel if you had lots of photos of your ex in frames around your house?

Make her think about the effect it’s having on you. My guess is that she wouldn’t like it and it would make her question just how committed you were to the relationship.

Good luck.