I CAN’T STAND MY STEPFATHER

Dear Coleen

My mum’s husband makes everyone so unhappy in our household and I hate him.

He works away a lot and comes back every few weeks, but none of us want to be at home when he’s there.

My mum has been married to him for six years, but he’s broken so many promises to her during that time and his attitude is disgusting. He blames my brother and me for everything that goes wrong and complains about the house being untidy, even though he never lifts a finger to help.

He expects us to cook and do everything for him and I refuse because he’s a grown man, which sparks rows between us.

He’s also always badmouthing us to our mum.

She does plan on leaving him, but right now we haven’t got the funds to support ourselves. I’m worried when the time comes he’ll either disappear or make our lives very difficult. Please help.

Coleen says First of all, there’s no reason why your mum should leave this marriage with nothing – she’ll be entitled to her share of their joint assets. Encourage her to start the ball rolling by getting some advice and information on separation and divorce. The Citizens Advice website is a good place to start (visit citizensadvice.org.uk).

The most important thing that you and your brother can do is just to support your mum and be united as a group. And ask her how you can support her best.

It’s a worrying time for her if she’s trying to plan her next move. She might actually ask you not to provoke arguments with your stepfather when he’s home. I realise it’s hard if you don’t like him and don’t want to scurry around to keep him happy, but listen to your mum if that’s what she asks.

On the plus side, it seems that your mum has made her mind up to leave and there’s always a solution – it just might take her some time to figure things out, so be patient.