See clowns nowadays – they’re just full of It
MULTIPLE endings will be filmed for the final episode of Game of Thrones to stop the storyline leaking. Though I’m guessing if the last words in one of the scripts are “and they all lived happily ever after”, you can assume that’s getting chucked in the bin right away. BRITAIN’S clowns are claiming that the new horror movie It is ruining their careers. And if you want to know who Britain’s clowns are, just take a swatch at Theresa May’s cabinet.
Many actual clowns have even thought about ending it all by driving over a cliff. Unfortunately, their motors keep comically falling apart on the way.
Mind you, they’re not the only clowns around this week. Kim Kardashian says reports that she’s expecting a third child via a surrogate are super invasive. Which I think is the US version of Super Lager.
Kim says the conception and growth of a foetus in the womb are a private matter for the father, the surrogate, the mother. And the mother’s YouTube channel subscribers.
Or what about the guy down south who’s built a giant 20-foot high Star Wars combat vehicle model in the front garden of his home.
He was originally gonnae build a Death Star, but had a survey done and found a design flaw.
Asked how he constructed the vehicle, the man said he used his hands and his imagination. And gave a similar answer when asked to describe his love life.
Then there’s the lassie in Australia who surprised the bridesmaids at her wedding by giving them all bouquets made from doughnuts. Guests knew there was a problem when the vicar asked for the ring and it had icing sugar and a wee bit of jam in it.
Elsewhere in Oz, Rebel Wilson has been awarded three million quid in the country’s largest payout for a defamation case.
Defamation cases in Australia are quite common in areas where disrespectful lies are told. Like when Aussies are accused of outrageous things like being quiet or sober.
Then what about the circus around THE Royal Shakespeare Company claim they’re struggling to find actors able to play Macbeth.
Hang on. He’s a power hungry guy with roots in Scotland who shouts a lot and carries a sharp blade. Gordon Ramsay is currently waiting by his phone. the new £10 note? Some of the new notes with low serial numbers are already selling for a much larger amount on eBay.
Don’t worry if you don’t get one, though.
If you want a tenner that’s going to be worth a whole lot more pretty soon, just buy a 10 euro note.
But let’s end with the clowns at Apple. They’ve unveiled their most hi-tech phone yet which has facial recognition and a £1000 price tag.
With that price, I’m guessing that the only facial recognition it works with is the complete look of horror when you get the receipt.
Like most of these clowns, they’re totally full of It.