SISTER SHUNS ME SINCE I’VE HAD A BABY

Dear Coleen

I GOT married two years ago and we had our first child at the start of November. However, since Christmas, my older sister has cut me out of her life.

At 38, she’s five years older than me and I’m guessing she doesn’t want to see us because it’s just a reminder of what she doesn’t have in her life – a husband and child.

She went through a horrible divorce a few years ago and it really shattered all her dreams and expectations, and she’s been single ever since.

I totally get why she feels upset about her situation and why it might be painful to see us but I worry that she’s missing out on her niece. I’m desperate for her to “rejoin” the family. Any advice?

Coleen says

IT SOUNDS like she is hurting, so why not go overboard with love and kindness? Feeling needed and wanted might be enough to shake her out of this rut she’s in.

Make a big effort to get her to see your baby – even if you have to make up something, like your babysitter has let you down at the last minute and you need her help.

I’m sure your sister loves you and is happy for you, but it’s probably just hard for her to see her little sister moving on and having all these things she wants, while she feels stuck.

I sympathise with her and I’m sure at 38 her biological clock is ticking loudly and she’s feeling the pressure.

She probably hasn’t thought about how her behaviour is affecting you because she’s wrapped up in herself, but I don’t think she’ll keep it up. Maybe she just needed to retreat for a bit.

You sound like a great sister, so keep doing what you’re doing – inviting her to things, calling her and texting her, and I’m convinced she’ll come round eventually.