SHceaardyy?in­Sioi­iii lHaue­gad­hyaib­ji­iliei­iii

Daily Star Sunday - - FRONT PAGE -

CELEBRITY Ghost Hunt came with the dis­claimer “this pro­gramme is for entertainment pur­poses only”.

Just in case any­one be­lieved Ry­lan Clark-Neal was go­ing to se­ri­ously investigate the para­nor­mal with prob­ing in­tel­lects like Sam from Ge­ordie Shore and Na­dia Es­sex from, umm, Ful­ham.

Show one served up faint groan­ing in a for­mer Wick­low jail, which was more than most peo­ple heard on Celebs Go Dat­ing – Nad’s old show.

Maybe she was chas­ing the ghost of her P45.

They blun­dered in the dark – the way il­lu­mi­nated only by Ry­lan’s ra­di­ant chop­pers – wav­ing point­less EMF me­ters (used to di­ag­nose elec­tri­cal prob­lems, not de­tect spir­its).

The scari­est thing they en­coun­tered was a wax­work of a con­vict.

The show’s sav­ing grace was Alex Gibbs. Her psy­chic abil­i­ties are prob­a­bly no more ad­vanced than those of Mys­tic Mar­cus on This Morn­ing but she doesn’t half light up the screen.

BEST ever Ghost Hunt quote? Ol­lie Locke ask­ing “Is there an al­pha male scream­ing to come out of me?” If so, he wouldn’t be the first… BOFFINS are de­vel­op­ing “smart trousers” to help el­derly wear­ers stand. Hope­fully their celeb-res­cue range in­cludes BoJo strides that won’t drop in the pres­ence of any­one you’re not mar­ried to… SUE Smith was de­scrib­ing how Craig Cathcart ma­noeu­vred to score against Spurs on Sky Sport when she gasped: V.Evans of Leeds wins £35 for that howler. Keep ’em com­ing to the ad­dress at the top of the page. CRINGEY sex and dull ther­apy scenes on Wan­der­lust. Nish Ku­mar – so far up his own back­side he’d need a Thai cave res­cue team to dig him out. Mas­sacre At Bal­ly­mur­phy – as bal­anced as Long John Sil­ver on a uni­cy­cle in a tsunami.

MAU­REEN Lip­man sparkles as Eve­lyn on Cor­rie, but isn’t it odd Fiz and Ty­rone don’t re­mem­ber her as Rovers re­lief man­ager Lillian Spencer? (See also Lor­raine Stan­ley on ’En­ders; now Karen, once the young Big Mo). ROX­ANNE Pal­lett was the first to quit Celebrity Is­land With Bear Grylls, prob­a­bly the most un­sur­pris­ing exit since Boris John­son’s wife voted Leave.

Roxy had an­other one of her melt­downs around the camp­fire.

Tsk. She, Mon­tana Brown and Jo Wood do for women’s lib what Elon Musk’s spliff did for Tesla shares.

Body­guard does its fic­tional bit for fem­i­nism only to be un­der­mined by “re­al­ity” show Dorises doss­ing about and let­ting the blokes do all the hard work.

At least Olympians James Crack­nell and An­thony Ogogo were game.

Pete the Pi­rate from TOWIE was great value too, though it’s hard to be­lieve he re­ally thought it was a good idea to leave their water be­hind – more likely it was a pro­ducer’s sug­ges­tion to in­ject ar­ti­fi­cial drama.

Best book­ing? Ju­lia Roberts’ self-cen­tred brother Eric, who re­peat­edly called Martin Kemp “Colin” and “Sam” rather than “that one-note soap ac­tor bloke” like the rest of us.

‘He’s just pulled off Harry Kane’

ATHENA Manoukian, The X Fac­tor. New Iron Fist, Net­flix. Mau­reen Lip­man, Cor­rie. The Mighty Red­car. Killing Eve. Craig Revel Hor­rid. Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan (AmPrime). Strangers – en­joy­able hokum. The Art Of Drum­ming (SkyArts).

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