They were best of Bro

Daily Star Sunday - - FRONT PAGE -

LOVE Is­land killed off Big Brother, mak­ing the for­mat look tired. But at the start it gripped like Ja­son “Jun­gle Cat” Cowan in a mud wrestling bout.

Big Bro had ro­mance, rows and remarkable char­ac­ters, al­though af­ter se­ries one – a gen­uine so­cial ex­per­i­ment – pro­duc­ers re­lied in­creas­ingly on freaks and screw­balls.

For every lov­able house­mate – Brian Belo, Jon Tickle, Kate Lawler – there were night­mares you’d cross the Sa­hara to avoid. Sorry Nikki.

To cel­e­brate its demise, here are my Top 7 best-ever BB book­ings:

1) Vic­tor Ebuwa AKA The Plumber (“coz I lay pipe”). 2) Derek Laud

3) Jade Goody 4) Pete “W*nkers!” Ben­nett 5) Brian 6) Ais­leyne

7) Charley Uchea (BB8) – also sex­i­est ir­ri­tant.

Big­gest night­mares: 1) Na­dia 2) Nikki 3) Shah­baz 4) Grace 5) Kinga.

Undis­puted Low: Kinga at it with her wine bot­tle. A gen­uinely shock­ing mo­ment. Ev­ery­one knows it should be white wine with fish.

Sweet­est Ro­mance: Paul and He­len (BB2). Dumb­est quote: “Where is East An­gu­lar, though? I thought that was abroad” – Jade.

Top Babes: Me­lanie Hill, Imo­gen Thomas, Or­laith McAl­lis­ter – short for “Orla my clothes fell off.”

Memorable Mo­ments:

1) Nasty Nick’s demise (BB1).

2) Fight Night (BB5) 3) Nikki’s Di­ary Room rants – who is she? (BB7) 4) Sandy’s great es­cape (BB3) 5) Michelle and Chicken Stu un­der the ta­ble (BB5).

Lost too soon: Sal­lie

AXL. SHIRLEY Bal­las, com­ple­ment­ing Graeme Swann on his Halloween dance, told him: D. An­der­son of Sun­der­land wins £35 for that howler. Keep ’em com­ing to the ad­dress at the top.

YOU liked my vin­tage goofs so much, here are two more. Harry Car­pen­ter com­ment­ing on the Boat Race: “Ah, isn’t that nice? The wife of the Cam­bridge pres­i­dent is kiss­ing the cox of the Ox­ford crew.” And Julian Wil­son dis­cussing jock­eys with trainer Josh Gif­ford: “I sup­pose the best ride around the place is your daugh­ter?”

THE size of Hay­ley’s hor­ri­ble mum on EastEn­ders! Even if Bev was in the nick she would still tech­ni­cally be at large. How can they be re­lated?

THE Em­merdale edi­tion of The Chase was as much fun as a blind date with Rhona “The Moaner” Goskirk. They’d have put more ef­fort in if ITV had booked Lach­lan as guest chaser.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.