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Daily Star - - Tv Guide -

I GOT a mes­sage warn­ing me that my new boyfriend is turned on by much older women.

I showed the mes­sage to my bloke and he claimed it was the work of his bit­ter ex-girl­friend and I was to ig­nore it.

But since then I’ve caught him look­ing at weird granny porn sev­eral times and now I don’t know if I like him any more.

The other day we had a row and he said that he can’t ex­plain his fetish.

Ap­par­ently he’s al­ways fan­cied older women on TV. He lost his vir­gin­ity at 17 to a woman of 42 and some of his ex-lovers have been 40 years older than him.

He in­sists he loves me and this takes noth­ing away from our re­la­tion­ship.

Should I be shocked or dis­gusted?

MY edgy new girl­friend is gag­ging for sex with other part­ners.

She’s al­ways nag­ging me to bring round mates, cousins or work col­leagues for three­somes and or­gies.

She’s also got her eye on sev­eral neigh­bours who she’s con­vinced are swingers.

We can see that some of them have hot tubs in their back gar­dens and tall grasses in the front, which she’s con­vinced are signs.

She’s an amaz­ing girl and the time we spend to­gether is fan­tas­tic, but I worry that she’s too out­ra­geous for me.

I’ve hinted re­peat­edly that I’ve got no in­ter­est in hav­ing sex with other peo­ple, but ev­ery­thing I say seems to fall on deaf ears.

Naked

She says she loves me dearly, but al­ways needs to feel chal­lenged, ex­cited and naughty too.

I’ve lived in this house for seven years (she’s just moved in) and I think she’s right about the swing­ing be­cause I’ve been to sev­eral par­ties where weird stuff has gone down.

One sum­mer I watched a dozen peo­ple strip naked and dive into the bloke over the back’s pool.

Then they started grab­bing and scream­ing and mak­ing out. Then, last Christ­mas, there was a bit of an in­ci­dent at a house party where a num­ber of peo­ple let them­selves into the master bed­room and, I be­lieve, cer­tain pic­tures were taken.

But just be­cause oth­ers are ex­per­i­men­tal, doesn’t mean that it’s for me. It’s a bit strange around here. On the out­side it’s all thatched cot­tages and twee tea­rooms, but there’s a seething un­der­cur­rent of pas­sion which my new girl is keen to tap into.

Ob­vi­ously, I don’t want her to think I’m a bor­ing, stick-in-the­mud. We’ve only been to­gether since Au­gust and I’m aware she’s a lot more wacky than I am.

How do I bal­ance this so that I re­tain my dig­nity and my girl?

JANE SAYS: If your boyfriend is gen­uinely more at­tracted to older women, then what’s he do­ing with you?

That’s who he should be with. I fear that he’s cur­rently us­ing you to pro­tect his im­age and give him­self re­spectabil­ity within his fam­ily and work col­leagues – and that’s not right.

There’s noth­ing wrong with fan­cy­ing older women – plenty of peo­ple do – but it’s the un­der­hand way he’s con­duct­ing him­self that is un­fair.

Tell him that you’re done with him and he can ogle as many oc­to­ge­nar­i­ans as he likes – as a sin­gle man.

The prob­lem is that you’re not what he’s look­ing for in a woman and you’re wast­ing your life by hang­ing around. JANE SAYS: You have to stay strong and your ex­citable girl­friend has to un­der­stand that “no” def­i­nitely means “no”. I’m sure she is ab­so­lutely de­lighted with your choco­late box vil­lage – it all sounds very Mid­somer Mur­ders – but if you’re not into swing­ing or group sex then you don’t have to jus­tify your­self to any­one.

I urge you to tell her that you won’t be ma­nip­u­lated or ca­joled be­cause you’re your own per­son.

I get the im­pres­sion that she’s rather giddy and get­ting car­ried away with her­self.

Does she ac­tu­ally love and re­spect you, or is she more taken with your neigh­bours and sur­round­ings? I get the im­pres­sion that she’s a thrillseeker, which is ab­so­lutely fine as long as you’re both singing off the same hymn sheet.

If you are start­ing to feel that you’re sim­ply her step­ping stone to a more out­ra­geous and riskier life, then is she re­ally a keeper?

Is she some­one you can se­ri­ously con­tem­plate liv­ing the rest of your life with? I have my doubts.

Level with her today. Em­pha­sise your likes and lim­its and see how she re­acts.

Sadly, if she con­tin­ues to push you, then you’ll have to show her the (rose-cov­ered) door.

NAUGHTY THOUGHTS: She’s up for group sex but he has no in­ter­est in romps with other women

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