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MY girl is nagging me to change my appearance.
She says I’m not fit or buff enough for her.
She constantly compares me to the lads on Love Island. Every time I sit down to start gaming she barks: “Why don’t you go down the gym you lazy oaf ?”
She says she no longer fancies me because I’m not waxed, tanned or toned enough to deserve her. I’m getting sick of being got at.
In an ideal world she’d have me under the knife in a heartbeat. She’d have a plastic surgeon change my nose, eye bags and chin. She would also like me to have some hair implants and liposuction which I don’t need.
Sticky
I’m more than happy with the skin I’m in. I even like my sticky out ears – I think they add to my character, but she doesn’t agree.
It feels like I’m her project – her Frankenstein’s monster. She is always telling me that I’m an embarrassment.
She picks out guys in clubs and bars and goes on about how much better they are than me. I can’t pretend I don’t get upset.
At the moment she’s obsessed with a guy at her work who, she says, is a living god.
Whenever we make love I’m certain she is fantasising and lusting after him.
Yet she’s not exactly Chloe Madeley herself. She thinks she’s gorgeous and has a high opinion of herself.
But what she doesn’t know is that there are two girls at my work who think I’m great. Both like the way I look and have offered me sex on a plate. I haven’t cheated so far, because I’m not that kind of guy. But is it time I finally put her straight?
Does she actually need to be told she’s not that great and I am fancied and desired elsewhere? JANE SAYS: Your girl sounds like a bully. What gives her the right to boss you around and insult you?
I get the impression you have been too nice for too long, so I suggest you pull her up short with a few home truths.
Sit her down and tell her you have had enough – you’re not ugly or deformed and you’re sick of her cruel jibes.
OK, you may not be perfect but neither is she by any stretch of the imagination. What you are, however, is a decent bloke who would never dream of being rude or disrespectful towards her.
Does she actually love or even like you? If not, then why is she still hanging around?
Be very clear that you’re not prepared to put up with any more rubbish. You’re not going under the knife for anyone, because you’re happy just the way you are. If she can’t accept that – and start being kinder towards you in private and public – then the two of you have no future.
Is that what she wants? To be single again? By all means tell her about your work-based admirers, but please don’t be tempted to start a relationship with either of them because employers frown upon that kind of thing.
Sadly, if you and your girl feel that you have gone as far as you can go, then you must resolve to part as friends.
Maybe the truth is that you have outgrown each other?