Time for that great garage clear-out, says Susie, hopefully
...is hoping that the arrival of a large skip will mean saying goodbye to a load of household junk.
HERE’S a question for you: what does one do with all the stuff one no longer needs at home? Does one: a) give it away, b) sell it, or c) put it in the garage to get mouldy and become a perch for the chickens?
Unsurprisingly, we routinely opt for c) – which then means that neither a) nor b) are viable further down the line. *Sigh* But I bring you news of a major breakthrough in our family life: a skip is being delivered this week! It’s fair to say this has been a sensitive issue in our household for quite a while.
We missed a golden opportunity a couple of years ago, when we had builders in. They had a large skip for their waste, but every time I suggested we could put some of our clutter in it, Alex would start hyperventilating and get a weird look in his eye. He’s a hoarder, and sees sentiment in everything, even a decaying pair of curtains from his childhood.
The only item that made it to landfill on that occasion was a top-of-the-range children’s car seat that had been Lola’s. A year later, when Hugo was ready for it, I went to dust it down and found it had completely disappeared. So, we’d managed to throw away something we actually needed, but keep vast amounts of tat.
I estimate that in our garage alone, 75% of the contents could be thrown out without anyone ever noticing. A truly tidy person could probably get rid of 95% quite easily. Imagine a garage that you could actually park a car in. That must be such a treat!
Our village recently had a garage sale. Excited about our chance to re-home some items, I insisted we put out loads of stuff. When someone showed an interest in a pile of books, Alex decided he didn’t want to part with them after all, and the only item we managed to shift was an old rug. Everything else had to be put back in its long-term holding pattern.
Our friends down the road had a similar lack of success. All they sold was an old pair of trainers belonging to their son. This has not inspired me to go to a car boot sale, as I can imagine the same thing happening there.
It won’t be long before parts of our property become no-go areas, because of the danger of stuff falling and burying you. I am now the one hyperventilating, due to the stress of never being able to find anything in our overcrowded house. Soon Christmas will be here again, and we never did find our Christmas tree stand last year!
I think Alex finally realised that if he was going to retain any control over my threatened clear-out, he was going to have to participate. He actually rang the skip company himself. Hoarders Anonymous would see this as a huge step forward in his recovery programme.
And me? I’m already feeling lighter. There’ll soon be a skip in my driveway, and a skip in my step!
“I bring you news of a major breakthrough in our family life: a skip is being delivered this week!”