PSy­ChoTher­a­PIST Ju­dITh LaSk of­ferS ToP TIPS for Women Who feeL fI­nan­CIaLLy TraPPed In a mar­rIage…

Essentials - - Relationships -

See a solic­i­tor and fi­nan­cial ad­vi­sor for ad­vice, even if (or es­pe­cially if) the sit­u­a­tion seems hope­less.

Write a list of the pos­i­tives and neg­a­tives as­so­ci­ated with stay­ing or leav­ing – this some­times puts things into a dif­fer­ent per­spec­tive.

Talk to your part­ner and come to a de­ci­sion about what sort of re­la­tion­ship or sep­a­ra­tion you can have.

Con­sider coun­selling or ther­apy,

which can be a use­ful fo­rum to work out is­sues or plan a sep­a­ra­tion.

Ask your­self what’s re­ally stop­ping you. Some­times, it’s eas­ier to fo­cus on the fi­nan­cial side than to ex­am­ine other things that might be hold­ing you back – dis­ap­point­ing your par­ents, shame at hav­ing a failed re­la­tion­ship, lack of con­fi­dence in man­ag­ing money or in par­ent­ing, fear of be­ing on your own or mak­ing big changes to your life.

Speak to your fam­ily and friends. It’s im­por­tant to talk things through with peo­ple who know you, know what you need and what makes you happy. They may even be part of a so­lu­tion in the shorter term – you might move in with one of them, for ex­am­ple.

Don’t ever give up. It’s al­ways far bet­ter to have some sort of plan in mind than it is to live in a permanent no-man’s land of dis­sat­is­fac­tion and worry.

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