Jokes, puns and funny stories!
Three old men are at the doctor’s for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first man, “What is three times three?” “274” replies the first man. Shaking his head, and with a worried expression on his face, the doctor says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday” replies the second man.
Increasingly concerned, the doctor says to the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three?” “Nine” says the third man. “That’s great!” exclaims the doctor with a sigh of relief. “How did you get that?”
“It’s pretty simple,” says the third man. “I just subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”
What did the mushroom say to the toadstool?
“You’re a fun guy.”
Everyone at the wedding got very emotional. Even the cake was in tiers.
During the days of the Soviet Union, when it took 10 years to get a car after you had paid for it, a young man went to the car dealership to order a new model. He paid the money, and then asked when he could come and get the car.
“It will be here, waiting for you, exactly 10 years from today,” replied the salesman.
The man signed the papers, started walking away and then turned and asked the salesman: “Wait. Will it be ready in the morning or the afternoon?”
“What difference does it make?” asked the salesman.
“Well,” answered the man, “the plumber is coming in the morning.”