Rib- Tick­lers

Jokes, puns and funny sto­ries!

Evergreen - - Spring 2016 -

Three old men are at the doc­tor’s for a mem­ory test.

The doc­tor says to the first man, “What is three times three?” “274” replies the first man. Shak­ing his head, and with a wor­ried ex­pres­sion on his face, the doc­tor says to the se­cond man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”

“Tues­day” replies the se­cond man.

In­creas­ingly con­cerned, the doc­tor says to the third man, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three?” “Nine” says the third man. “That’s great!” ex­claims the doc­tor with a sigh of re­lief. “How did you get that?”

“It’s pretty sim­ple,” says the third man. “I just sub­tracted 274 from Tues­day.”

What did the mushroom say to the toad­stool?

“You’re a fun guy.”

Ev­ery­one at the wed­ding got very emo­tional. Even the cake was in tiers.

Dur­ing the days of the Soviet Union, when it took 10 years to get a car af­ter you had paid for it, a young man went to the car deal­er­ship to or­der a new model. He paid the money, and then asked when he could come and get the car.

“It will be here, wait­ing for you, ex­actly 10 years from to­day,” replied the sales­man.

The man signed the pa­pers, started walk­ing away and then turned and asked the sales­man: “Wait. Will it be ready in the morn­ing or the af­ter­noon?”

“What dif­fer­ence does it make?” asked the sales­man.

“Well,” an­swered the man, “the plumber is com­ing in the morn­ing.”

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