Jokes, puns and funny stories!
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scales, holding in his stomach. “That’s not going to help,” she said. “Yes it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side.
Teacher: “Whoever answers my next question, can go home.”
A boy throws his bag out of the window. Teacher: “Who just threw that?” Boy: “Me and I’m going home now.”
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do anything you want.”
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What’s the matter with you? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s really something.”