Rib- Tick­lers

Jokes, puns and funny sto­ries!

Evergreen - - Evergreen -

A woman no­ticed her hus­band stand­ing on the bath­room scales, hold­ing in his stom­ach. “That’s not go­ing to help,” she said. “Yes it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the num­bers.”

Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side.

Teacher: “Who­ever an­swers my next ques­tion, can go home.”

A boy throws his bag out of the win­dow. Teacher: “Who just threw that?” Boy: “Me and I’m go­ing home now.”

An en­gi­neer was cross­ing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beau­ti­ful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beau­ti­ful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”

The en­gi­neer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and re­turned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do any­thing you want.”

Again the en­gi­neer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Fi­nally, the frog asked, “What’s the mat­ter with you? I’ve told you I’m a beau­ti­ful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do any­thing you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The en­gi­neer said, “Look I’m an en­gi­neer. I don’t have time for a girl­friend, but a talk­ing frog, now that’s re­ally some­thing.”

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