Jokes, puns and funny stories!
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can “ho ho ho”.
After a long delay for repairs to the aeroplane, the passengers were becoming impatient.
“Why don’t you look at it this way?” said the pilot. “Wouldn’t you rather be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here?”
What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross Mouse Cards.
An old man goes to the doctor complaining that his wife can barely hear. The doctor suggests a test to find out the extent of the problem. “Stand a long way behind her, ask her a question, and then slowly move up and see how far away you are when she first responds.”
The old man, pleased to have a solution to the problem, runs home and sees his wife preparing dinner. “Darling,” says the man, standing about 20 feet away, “what’s for dinner?”
After receiving no response he tries again, this time while 15 feet away, and again there is no reaction.
Patiently he asks again at a distance of 10 feet but once more there is no response.
Finally, he is just five feet away: “Darling, what’s for dinner?”
She replies: “For the fourth time it’s lasagna!”
How was Scrooge able to kick the ball and score the winning goal?
The ghost of Christmas passed.