Rib- Tick­lers

Jokes, puns and funny sto­ries!

Evergreen - - News -

Why does Santa have three gar­dens? So he can “ho ho ho”.

Af­ter a long de­lay for re­pairs to the aero­plane, the passengers were be­com­ing im­pa­tient.

“Why don’t you look at it this way?” said the pi­lot. “Wouldn’t you rather be down here wish­ing you were up there than up there wish­ing you were down here?”

What do an­gry mice send to each other at Christ­mas?

Cross Mouse Cards.

An old man goes to the doc­tor com­plain­ing that his wife can barely hear. The doc­tor sug­gests a test to find out the ex­tent of the prob­lem. “Stand a long way be­hind her, ask her a ques­tion, and then slowly move up and see how far away you are when she first re­sponds.”

The old man, pleased to have a solution to the prob­lem, runs home and sees his wife pre­par­ing din­ner. “Dar­ling,” says the man, stand­ing about 20 feet away, “what’s for din­ner?”

Af­ter re­ceiv­ing no re­sponse he tries again, this time while 15 feet away, and again there is no re­ac­tion.

Pa­tiently he asks again at a dis­tance of 10 feet but once more there is no re­sponse.

Fi­nally, he is just five feet away: “Dar­ling, what’s for din­ner?”

She replies: “For the fourth time it’s lasagna!”

How was Scrooge able to kick the ball and score the win­ning goal?

The ghost of Christ­mas passed.

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