MOST BAFFLING HALF TIME ENTERTAINMENT

With few chances and no goals in the first half, punters at Derby County’s September encounter with Blackburn Rovers may have been wondering what they would talk about during the break. Fortunately for them, a giant fish waddled out onto the playing surface before eating a man whole and quickly regurgitating him, sans clothing. The unfortunate victim had punted a ball into the greedy guppy’s dangly bits. In a rage, the scaly scamp – called ‘Mackeral Jordan’, and previously seen at various sporting events in the USA – gobbled down his prey inside the Pride Park penalty area, before spitting out his shirt, shoes and slacks.