Chilling with nice Chris Powell
Southend’s boss is out to prove that nice guys don’t finish last – and he’d happily thump Trump
Hi Chris. You’re running the London Marathon for Prostate Cancer UK – will your competitive instinct kick in if some berk in a giant Mr Tickle outfit goes flying past you? Ha. Yeah, I’m giving it a go. I’ve never done one before and I’ll never do one again. I did a half-marathon recently and my body is still, er, adjusting. I’m hoping not too many people dressed up as rhinos sprint past me! Remember to put Vaseline on your nipples. The chafing can be awful. It’s not just the nipples I’m worried about with the chafing! Indeed, Chris. Dreadful. Have you done any other kind of marathon? A TV marathon, maybe? Yes. I’m as happy as Larry with a box set. Game of Thrones, The Sopranos – done in a matter of days. The Wire was my favourite. I think I did series two and three within five days. What a show. The bloke with the shotgun, Omar, was my favourite. Those days are gone now I’m a manager again. Great taste. What about a sleeping marathon? Niall Quinn reckons he could do 14 hours straight. In my early twenties, after playing on a Saturday and then having a night out, I think I surpassed Niall’s record. Sunday was gone – it was ridiculous. Now I’m lucky to get five or six hours. You’re known as the nicest man in football – do you accept that? It’s not about ‘nice’ for me, but I was brought up to treat people the right way and I’ve got no time for anything else. I like people to be happy. So I’ll take it. There are worse tags. Are there any chinks, though? Have you ever kicked a cat? I’d never kick a cat. I haven’t got one. I’ve got a dog called Kenji. I’d never kick him either. He’s a Eurasian – half German Spitz, half Keeshond. Exotic. Do you ever pretend not to see somebody on the street by looking at your phone? No comment! Maybe the odd incident. Have you ever sworn at an unsolicited telemarketing caller, Chris? They’re just doing their job... I had a call from someone pretending to be David Moyes. I’ve met David, so I knew it wasn’t him. He said, “This is David Moyes from West Ham United.” He would never say that. This guy was enquiring about a player. I politely told him what he could do with his enquiry. If you could have one free punch at anybody, who would you hit? Donald Trump. Done. I just don’t know what he is doing. Bang goes my invite to the White House. Who do you think is the nicest person in football, then? I think it would be tough to beat Chris Hughton. All Chrises are nice, see? He’s a diamond of a man and would be the president of football’s nice guy club. He is a very good manager, though. Don’t underestimate nice managers. We won’t. Your name is an anagram of ‘Chill Powers’. How would you rate your ability to chill? I would say I have reasonable powers. It’s important to de-stress when you’re a manager. I’ll switch off with a good book. I’m reading Shoe Dog, written by the man who created Nike. You are also an anagram of ‘Chisel prowl’. Have you ever roamed wildly with a tool in between unsuccessful bouts of DIY? No. I’m too terrible at DIY to ever prowl with a chisel. My wife is better than me, and if she can’t do something, we get somebody in to help. Finally, you’ve spent so much time in east London and Southend, you must be eating jellied eels on a daily basis? I’m sorry, but I’m not. I can’t eat any of that stuff. I don’t mind the odd shrimp, but I won’t go near a jellied eel. Sorry. Thanks for chatting! Cheers.
“I WOULD NEVER KICK A CAT. I’VE GOT A DOG CALLED KENJI, AND I WOULDN’T KICK HIM EITHER”
Sponsor Chris in the London Marathon at www.justgiving.com/chris-powell2018