MISS THE WORLD AC­CORD­ING TO VAN­JIE

Gay Times Magazine - - CULTURE - Pho­tog­ra­phy Ernesto Casil­las Fash­ion Cazias by Ale­jan­dro Gomez Words Wil­liam J Con­nolly

She might have been the first queen elim­i­nated from sea­son 10 of Ru­Paul’s Drag Race, but Vanessa Van­jie Ma­teo had the last laugh when she be­came the bi‡est in­ter­net sen­sa­tion of 2018. Now she’s one of the most recog­nis­able names from the queer fran­chise, with fans from across the globe scream­ing ‘Miss Vaaaaan­jie’ in re­sponse to just about ev­ery­thing.

Here, the cook­ies are out of the oven and the T is ready to be spilt as Miss Vanessa Van­jie Ma­teo reads the world to filth and shares her thoughts on ev­ery­thing mak­ing head­lines in #twen­ty­gay­teen.

What does Van­jie think of US Pres­i­dent Don­ald Trump?

Don­ald Trump need a new toupee and he need to get the hell up out of that tan­ning bed. I think he’s a Cheeto. Don­ald Trump is a fool.

What was it like see­ing Ru­Paul in full drag?

Meet­ing Ru­Paul was le­gendary. It’s like see­ing a myth­i­cal crea­ture or the Loch Ness Mon­ster be­cause when you see him... you gag. You’re ga‡ed. What she looks like on TV is what she looks like in per­son. That bitch looks like she’s a walk­ing fil­ter. If she was a fil­ter... the one which makes you look per­fect. It’s like the lit­tle car­toon one – that’s what she looks like. The one Kim Kar­dashian al­ways uses, that’s the one.

Tell us a se­cret we don’t know...

I’m pescatar­ian. You heard it here first. An­other se­cret: I’m a bot­tom. Here’s an­other se­cret: I don’t know how to shut the hell up. An­other: I’m a hot mess. Here’s an­other: I don’t live in Florida any­more, I moved to LA. I gave you so many. One more? There’s no such thing as a dick be­ing too big to take it up the ass.

What’s your ideal first date?

I want some­body to be ro­man­tic. I want it thought out and planned out. I don’t want no reg­u­lar ass din­ner at no reg­u­lar ass TGI Fri­days. You guys got TGI Fri­days there? I don’t want that. It took a lot of time to get to know what I want and it’s not your nasty ass restau­rants.

You’re #thirsty on In­sta­gram. What is it about top­less pics you just can’t stop post­ing?

Well fuck! I got so fuck­ing skinny trav­el­ing and starv­ing my­self, I might as well post it. I’m about to start post­ing some ass pics and all that other shit. It works for other bitches, why can’t it work for me? I’ve been re­ally feel­ing my­self lately. I don’t re­ally work out but God damn, I’m feel­ing my oats so why not share it with the world.

How does it feel know­ing you’re in­spir­ing a new gen­er­a­tion of

LGBTQ teens?

I think it’s great. If I’m able to make peo­ple re­late and ex­press them­selves, and I in­spire them to do what­ever they might want to do – even if it’s Bar­bie or flow­ers on a corset – I think it’s great. Grow­ing up, I had Brit­ney Spears... so for them to have Ru­Paul’s Drag Race is great as we can show them that you get to be your­self. There’s al­ways hope when you get to grow up, you get to dress and up and do what­ever you want to do. You don’t have some­one telling you what to do.

Is it hard to find love as a drag queen?

I don’t think it’s hard for me, but it’s the sched­ule and work that makes it tough. It’s work that makes it hard, but I won’t set­tle un­less some­body gives me The Note­book ex­pe­ri­ence. Have you seen that? That’s what I want my love life to be, so if it ain’t The Note­book, then I don’t set­tle.

Should trans women com­pete on Ru­Paul’s Drag Race?

There’s been trans women on the show. There’s been girls on there that were trans, they just re­veal it on the show – Pep­per­mint, Mon­ica Bev­erly Hillz. I think they are wel­come, I just don’t specif­i­cally... I think they should get their own show. There’s so many of them that are ex­cel­lent per­form­ers and en­ter­tain­ers, there’s enough girls out there to make

Come get these cook­ies, baby! The break­out vi­ral star of Ru­Paul’s Drag Race sea­son 10 lets us in­side her

hi­lar­i­ous world...

their own show. It would be fierce, and I’d love to see a bunch of them in that whole Drag Race set­ting com­pet­ing for money.

Will Cher live for­ever?

She is le­gendary and I love her looks and I love look­ing at her pic­tures. I go on In­sta­gram and look at all the stuff she used to wear. She’s a gay icon. She’s le­gendary not just for the gays. She’s a sta­ple.

Do you use dat­ing apps?

I’ve never been into them be­cause I feel like they’re just for hookups. Grindr and all that, I’ve never re­ally used it as I don’t have prob­lems hook­ing up. If I wanted to find some­body to hook up with, I don’t need an app to do it for me. Peo­ple on those apps are fake. They say they’re 6ft tall and they’re ac­tu­ally 5ft2”. There’s too much cat­fish­ing and peo­ple be putting on this front.

Tell us about the type of love in­ter­est Van­jie at­tracts...

There’s a wide range of men that will dab­ble into the Vanessa pond. I don’t re­ally have a par­tic­u­lar type, I just like some­body who treats me right and takes me on a lit­tle boat ride with swans... like in The Note­book.

How did it feel hav­ing Ru­Paul find you hys­ter­i­cal, and him get­ting on the Van­jie hype?

I think it’s a bless­ing and I can’t be­lieve I ever made him laugh at all. Of all the bull­shit that went on, I’m just happy I made him laugh.

Are you game for All Stars 4?

If Momma Ru asked me to come and clean the toi­lets or be a guest judge or even to come and say my name three times, I would do what­ever she says. What­ever Momma asks, she shall do.

Tell us Van­jie’s fun­ni­est sex story...

Well, let me think how I should an­swer this. I would not want some­body say­ing the ‘Van­jie’ bull­shit in the mid­dle of in­ter­course. Fans love to send me videos of them be­ing in an in­ti­mate set­ting with some­body else, and then say my name in the mid­dle of them hav­ing sex. It’s so weird. It’s the freaki­est fuck­ing thing. For me, I would au­to­mat­i­cally get turned off and get re­ally soft, so I don’t get why say­ing my name dur­ing the ses­sion be­came a thing.

Do you want to get mar­ried?

Yes, when I’m older and re­tired. Maybe 40... or 45. Mar­riage is spe­cial and I wouldn’t just marry a reg­u­lar Joe. If you’re go­ing to marry me, you’ll do it as Jose – the boy. Maybe for the party I would get dressed up, or some ex­trav­a­gant cer­e­mony, but as a boy. I want to wear a tuxedo sit­u­a­tion. I will have Momma Ru do­ing the whole she­bang.

Does money lead to hap­pi­ness?

It does help. If you broke, you are de­pressed. What does Van­jie spend most of her money on? Drag. I would say it’s wigs, cos­tumes, and clothes.

What hap­pens if peo­ple send Van­jie nudes?

It de­pends on how the pic­ture looks to what the re­sponse would be. Uhhmm.

Is global warm­ing ‘fake news’?

Hell no! I think the poor lit­tle po­lar bears out there suf­fer­ing be­cause bitches keep spray­ing hair­spray and killing the ozone layer. Stop com­ing out there with that crunchy wig. We need to cut back on the fuck­ing hair­spray so the po­lar bears have some­where to sleep.

Do you sup­port kids do­ing drag?

Why not? Hell they dress up at Hal­loween and that’s only once a year, so we should let them dress up any time they want to. It’s the same shit. I think they should do it, and if they want to do a lit­tle tal­ent show or a lit­tle drag, dress up... let them do it. They’re go­ing to do it re­gard­less so you might as well let them start early so they get good at it.

How did say­ing ‘Miss Vaaaaaaaan­jieeeee’ on Drag Race change your life?

I’m not sick of the Van­jie thing, I’m just ready to give them more ma­te­rial. It’s a bless­ing and I’m happy it hap­pened. I say a lot of crazy shit. I did not know say­ing my name a few times was go­ing to take off like that, but I’m glad it did. If they think that’s funny, I can’t wait for them to see what else I end up do­ing. Who knows...

Who is your queer hero?

Momma Ru. Hello, that bitch is what I want to do. She gets to do drag, gets paid sick­en­ing coins, has her own TV show, pod­cast, her wing­man Michelle. I need a bitch like Michelle to be read­ing, an an­gel like Ross. I love it!

How much re­spon­si­bil­ity do gay men have in sup­port­ing their trans sib­lings?

Just as much as we de­fend our fam­ily mem­bers or what­ever the case might be, it’s the same thing for me. I look at it like when I speak, that’s how I view it. They are our fam­ily.

What would get you dou­ble tap­ping on In­sta?

Some fierce ass drag, or some sick­en­ing pic­ture of a boy with­out a shirt, his ass out and maybe a dick print. Ei­ther of those. I click on a lot of shit. I’m one of those peo­ple who clicks just to click it. I get click happy... es­pe­cially if I’ve been drink­ing.

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