DE­GREES OF SEP­A­RA­TION

There are steps you can take to im­prove your night-time re­la­tion­ship with­out ac­tu­ally mov­ing out, says Neil Stan­ley, au­thor of How To Sleep Well*

Good Housekeeping (UK) - - Modern Relationships -

TALK TO EACH OTHER

In­stead of moan­ing that your part­ner has ru­ined your night’s sleep, try hav­ing a prag­matic con­ver­sa­tion to find so­lu­tions. For in­stance, if your part­ner likes to stay up late, sug­gest that they clean their teeth down­stairs to avoid bum­bling around nois­ily in the bed­room when you’re asleep.

DIF­FER­ENT DUVETS

Ban­ish du­vet fights for good by hav­ing two sin­gle duvets on your dou­ble bed. Not only will this lessen dis­tur­bance but it will also help reg­u­late your tem­per­a­ture. If you get hot dur­ing the night but your part­ner gets cold, two duvets of dif­fer­ing thick­ness will en­sure you’re both com­fort­able and happy.

MAN­AGE THAT SNOR­ING

Try to work out what the cause is – some peo­ple snore on their backs, while oth­ers only snore if they’ve been drink­ing. If the lat­ter, an agree­ment that you’ll sleep sep­a­rately if one of you has had a heavy night will help pre­vent dis­tur­bance. There

are many anti-snor­ing prod­ucts avail­able over the counter in chemists. Trial them to see what helps, how­ever don’t ex­pect mir­a­cles – dif­fer­ent things work for dif­fer­ent peo­ple.

BAN­ISH BLUE LIGHT

Blue light from a phone or tablet screen suppresses the re­lease of mela­tonin, the hor­mone that reg­u­lates sleep, so it’s best to avoid it be­fore bed, if pos­si­ble. If your part­ner likes to binge-watch TV late into the night, sug­gest they do so down­stairs – prac­ti­cal so­lu­tions like this will keep you both happy in the long-run.

DON’T BE SCARED TO SLEEP ALONE!

There is no link between sleep and the strength of your re­la­tion­ship. Sleep­ing in the same bed as your part­ner is a mod­ern con­cept – hu­mans are the only an­i­mals on earth who choose to do so purely for in­ti­macy. It’s bet­ter to sleep sep­a­rately than to put up with some­one in your bed and feel in­creas­ingly an­gry – if you’re har­bour­ing such re­sent­ment, it’s likely you won’t be hav­ing sex any­way!

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